Dear Pastor Ted Haggard

“Dear Pastor Ted Haggard” – 7 December 2006

(Pastor Ted Haggard was involved this fall in a story involving his relationship with a male prostitute.  Haggard founded one of the most powerful Evangelical Christian mega churches in the country and was ousted by his church after he first lied about taking drugs and paying for sex and subsequently confessed to some indiscretions.  He is married to a woman and they have several children.)

Dear Pastor Ted Haggard:

I can only imagine the continued conundrum that you are facing.  While I warred against my own homosexuality years ago, I was not married, and so the toll of that battle did not extend to a partner.

If people are feeling embarrassed of you, I hope that you understand that is all about them–that it is about how they react to situations and not about who you are.  I can only tell you that the disappoinment that people feel should only regard the little safety that you have afforded yourself in the midst of drugs and miscellaneous hotel rooms.  I hope that you consider your safety a priority in the future.

You have said that you created the situation in which you find yourself, and this is true–but I remember creating my own, too.  The best thing that I found was the ability to love and be loved, and this, if nothing else, reminded me that you know God has always been close once your self-perception shifts.

Also, your concern for your mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical life are well founded.  It is amazing that you have a family that is able to support you in many ways.  Please know that while the media and other sources are trying to paint you as a deviant that you are a fallable human, and you have many people in the gay community waiting to support you in your healing.

I do not know if you are homosexual or bisexual, although I surmise one of the two is true.  I hope that the sentiment of sexual immorality that you have expressed is about the little regard you have given for your safety and not about the fact that you are a sexual being.

You have great potential to remain a leader in this country, but the confusion caused by your inconsistent statements must be difficult.  Believe me, though, that you are not the only one who has ever been in that position.  I mentioned my war against homosexuality–well, guess what?  I won.  And by that I mean that I am a happy gay male.  I realized that the war was about my inconsistency, about my inability to be honest.  I hope that you arise as a leader who is proud of who he is–bisexual or homosexual.  You’re right: the confluence of these events to be prophetic.  Therefore, it is a great time for a test that seems to have only one question in it: will you embrace yourself or will you reject the entire wonderful person that you are once again?

Todd Wellman (c) 2006

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